Thursday, December 31, 2009

Welcome 2010

It was 10 years ago today that Chris proposed to me. Amidst all the Y2K chaos that night, he asked me to be his wife. That was a milestone for us. This next year will be full of events marking significance for us.
Seventeen years old & Seventeen years together. In March, Chris and I will celebrate our Dating Anniversary which we do every year, but this particular year will mark our seventeenth year together. I was seventeen when we started dating. I had an lived an entire lifetime before I met him! I lived my whole childhood before him. Now we've spent that same amount of time together as a couple where we've merged our lives and created our own family. It's a bit mind boggling for me, really. But pleasantly mind boggling.
I'll be turning 35 in April which I feel great about. My Aunt Hannah passed away from cancer at age 34 leaving behind her nine year old daughter, and this entire past year I've thought a lot about that. No one has any idea how grateful I am to be celebrating my 35th year. And I'm grateful for all that I've accomplished, acquired and been a part of to this point in my life. To celebrate my birthday, we're planning a trip to NYC... somewhere we've never been and we plan on leaving the kids at home with the Grandparents for the few days we're away... again another milestone for us. We've never been away from our kids for more than an overnight sleep over. We've never done a vacation away together without them ever. They're always with either Chris or myself. We love our kids and we like being with them. This will be an experience for us.
Of course 2010 also marks our 10 year Wedding Anniversary. We'll celebrate this in August and hopefully get back to British Columbia (WITH our kids!) which is where we spent most of our honeymoon after being in Alaska. The mountains and the ocean have taken my breath away before and I can't think of a better place to celebrate this anniversary.
So when I think about the decade that just passed us by I can smile knowing I made good use of those years. When I look ahead to what is before us, I can see there is a lot to look forward to.
Welcome 2010.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

My Christmas Spirit Spark

There was some questioning going on at my house this year about the reality of Santa. Carter told me some kids in his class and on the bus say Santa isn't real but his teacher told them "If you don't believe, you don't receive" My heart sank when he told me this. The few things I truly love about Christmas (and there isn't a whole lot that I truly love about Christmas I should mention) is the innocence, wonder and the magic of what might be. I told the boys my story again about when I was a little girl and saw Santa putting presents under my tree, thinking that would generate some conversation. Callum was the first to speak and asked me if I got less gifts that year because Santa caught me cheating... thanks Callum for putting a negative spin on a perfectly magical story. That question was followed by his statement "I'm staying up all night to watch for him and I'm gonna catch him on video like we did the Tooth Fairy!" He changed his mind once I told him I did in fact get less gifts that year for cheating and I felt a sense of sadness that I was straight faced lying to my kids for my own benefit. Carter could read in me that something about this conversation bothered me and so he put his arms around my neck and looked me in the eye. "Mom, you got the best present of all though... you got the gift of seeing Santa!" There was magic in his eyes. There was belief. There was innocence.
He warmed my heart so much that it was melting in that moment. The guilt I had only seconds before for lying faded and the magical feeling of Christmas finally hit me. Here I was desperately trying to preserve the magic of Christmas for them, but it actually took them to spark it in me. This may be the last year I see that magic and that belief in Carter's eyes and so I've etched it into my memory so I'll always have it to draw on as my Christmas spirit spark in the years ahead.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

You're The One True Thing I Know I Can Believe In

I really wasn't feeling the Christmas Spirt this year but my amazing husband stepped in and helped me pull it all together. There are a lot of songs that make me think of Chris and his awesomeness but this Sarah song Push is the one that describes us best I think.
"You're the one true thing I know I can believe in"

Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do 'cause you're to good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go
You wont stoop down to battle but you never turn to go


Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm OK
Sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day


Sunday, December 20, 2009

My Bridge

There are some people in my life who I know I was supposed to connect with in this life. One of those people is my friend Bridge. We met on the first day of college and we've been tight ever since. We're both really intuitive people and we can feel when things aren't right with one another, even if we haven't spoken in days.
Last night after dinner I had to lay down because I was feeling very overwhelmed with the thought of Christmas being only days away. I have such mixed emotions about this season as it is, so my anxiety got the best of me. I wasted the entire night in my bed thinking about how these next few days are going to look and worried about all that needs to be done. When I finally peeled myself out of bed this morning I got to it,  and told myself to get in the spirit for the love of my children. Everything has started to come together since then. I'm so fortunate to have such a wonderful husband. He helped me out with starting dinner, then took Callum to hockey.... two less things on my To Do List..... perfect.
While they were out I got a text message from Bridge out of the blue asking if everything is okay. But how did she know? How do we always know? She didn't send a text for any other reason except because she had a feeling something was up. She said all the right things to make me feel better....she has a very calming effect on me. Her voice and her words warms my soul every time I speak to her. She is one of those friends who tells me she loves me and I know she means it. I'm definitely feeling less overwhelmed now and am looking forward to having the 16 people I'm expecting for dinner this evening. As I set out my shiny happy silverware on the table, I thought about all the things Bridgette had said to me and it made my soul smile. She has the perfect name for someone who bridges chaos and calmness to create contentment. I love her as well, and I mean it too.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Just Breathe. Pearl Jam

Some songs just make me think of my awesome husband. This is one of them.I think we were together in our past lives. I hope we're together in our next life as well.

Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh,..
I’m a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love,..

Some folks just have one,
Others they got none, aw huh,..

Stay with me,..
Let’s just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
Never gonna let me win, aw huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh,..
Yeh, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world
To make me bleed.

Stay with me,..
You’re all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean.

I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw huh,..
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..
Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one know this more than me.
As I come clean.

Nothing you would take,..
everything you gave.
Hold me till I die,..
Meet you on the other side.

Friday, December 11, 2009

The Work Holiday Party

I like going to our work Christmas Party because I'm a people watcher. I love to see how they interact with each other and study their behaviours. Some show up ready to party the night away while others appear to just want to get the night over with and get home again. Sometimes you get a glimpse of what people are really like outside of work and it's kinda cool. I also love to dance. I mean like high school slow dance, not bust-a-move on the dance floor kinda dance. My husband seldom dances (sometimes at a wedding if I'm lucky) and so it's only at such occasions that I have this opportunity. It's one of the few moments in life where everything sorta goes still for an entire 4ish minutes.... it's just me, someone kind enough to dance with me (as I hold my breath hoping he won't feel the line of my Spanx when he puts his hands at my back.... damn pregnancies) and the music. I don't usually dance at all at my work party but I enjoy watching who is dancing with who. It's especially entertaining to watch who goes home with who when it's all over. I always keep in mind it's still business even though they call it a "party". I can guarantee I'm not the only People Watcher in the room and so I'm very predictable and always on my best behaviour at these types of functions. And every year I go home with the same guy.... even if he doesn't ask me to dance.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Saroot Stole 'Em

As I was packing the kids lunches this morning Callum asked me for mini rice cakes again because he didn't get to eat his the other day. When I asked why, he told me "Saroot stole 'em!" He said he told the lunch monitor and that Saroot got in trouble.... he even got a detention after school. I asked Callum what he thought of that and to my delight he said "Maybe Saroot's mommy didn't buy rice cakes for his lunch and he just wanted some" So Callum wasn't angry. He has an understanding of why this boy would take from him. He wasn't feeling spiteful or happy that Saroot got a detention. Awesome.
I explained that the little boy should have asked Callum if he could have them and it's too bad that because he didn't use his words, he got in trouble. I suggested to Callum that we pack Saroot a little bag of rice cakes for himself today and Callum is feeling great about sharing with him.
It's hard to teach your kids about having empathy without having them turn out to be the people who get taken advantage of. It seems these boys of mine are on the right track so I'm gonna have to just let nature take it's course and watch how they choose to handle situations like this going forward.
As far as today goes, Callum and Saroot will each have rice cakes for snack and Callum is happy about that.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

To Be Fair, Buy Fair Trade!

I was grocery shopping this evenings and when I went to pick up bananas, I noticed there was a sign in the next section that said "Fair Trade Bananas" They were all of twenty cents more expensive per pound. Shouldn't all bananas be Fair Trade? Doesn't every human deserve to be paid at the very least what the minimum wage is for their local area? Why is it even legal to have non-fair-trade bananas? The same thing puzzles me about coffee. I know that buying organic has become sort of a trend in recent years, but people need to be made more aware of what it means to be buying Fair Trade over non-fair-trade and how buying Fair Trade on a regular basis will force the industry to pay the workers fairly. These hard working people are being exploited just so we can have our bananas and coffee at a measly twenty cents cheaper per pound?? It makes no sense to me and it really pisses me off! What is wrong with this world?! It's 2009... it really doesn't need to be this way.

Twenty-Nine Years Ago Today....

Sarah McLachlan is the only person I'd say in the world who should be allowed to cover John Lennon. This version of Happy Christmas makes my heart warm. I grew up listening to John Lennon. He was a part of my childhood and influenced many of the artists who I appreciate now.
It was on this day 29 years ago that I remember my father coming home early from work absolutely horrified by the news of John Lennon's death. He was shot in New York City December 8th, 1980 so I would have been 5 years old at the time and I'll never forget my father's reactions that day.... I'll never forget how sad he was.
R.I.P. Mr. John Lennon
Burn in Hell Mark David Chapman.
“You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your own soul's doing.”
Marie Stopes

Friday, December 4, 2009

Good Morning, Sunshine!

My Mommy instincts told me at 5:45 this morning that someone was awake and was standing at my bedroom door.
Me: "Morning Sunshine, are you okay?"
Callum: "Good Morning, Mommy, I just wanna have a snuggle with you"
He climbed into my bed and cuddled in close. Oh how this makes a mommy melt! He began telling me about his wiggly tooth, which led to a conversation about the dentist and the Tooth Fairy, which led to talking about Santa and how he must use a jet to get to all the malls and IKEA to have breakfast and pictures with all the kids because he has to go to so many of them... The conversations were delightful. Then, he used his little index finger and started tracing the letters printed on the shirt of my pj's. "Mom, what does this word say?" I told him it said Peace. "Mom, what does peace mean?"

This was it. This was my moment where I had an opportunity to speak to my young son about what peace means.... to me, anyways. He was quite intrigued and asked a lot of questions around the topic. We talked about war & soldiers & anti-violence, we talked about balance, we talked about friendships, unity, karma, behaviour and being good to all of mankind. It was a highly intellectual conversation to be having between a mommy and a five year old especially at that hour in the morning, but it thrilled me. The alarm went off at 6:30am so we got up and got on with our day, but I cannot express in words how much I enjoyed my unexpected little snuggle with Callum today. And I think my Peace pj's have just become my new favourites!

Animal Ingredients in Cosmetics

I've definitely become more "girly" since becoming a Mother. I'm the only female in my house and so I embrace all things girl these days. I like to wear a bit of make up and I feel better with a bit of make up on, but I don't feel like I HAVE to have a face on before leaving the house. (I have been teased by some Preschool Moms before for showing up without make up AND wearing Crocs, but I don't care. Some of those ladies are so fake anyways.) When I do put on some eyes or lips to go out, I'm very careful on which products I use. This is a good link that defines some lingo for animal derived ingredients in cosmetics.... I can't believe people would use this stuff!?!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I Couldn't Agree With You More, Maya Angelou.

“I have found that among its other benefits,
giving liberates the soul of the giver.”
Maya Angelou

Winter Is Coming & The Days Are Getting Shorter

Tonight at dinner Carter said "Mom, this dinner tastez really good! You're the best!" (It makes me feel so great when the kids say stuff like that to me!) Then he said "So, I guess you'll have to get dinner ready earlier now that the days are getting shorter and we won't be in school as long" He continued, "Now that it's almost winter and it's getting darker earlier, we'll be home from school sooner and you'll have to have dinner ready sooner too!"
I LOVE how kids take things so literally. So very innocent... so very sweet.

30 Reasons

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Anyone who knows me, knows I'm spiritual but not religious. Listening to people saying grace at a dinner table makes me feel awkward but, I'd say Amen to this!

Don't "Bee" Cruel

We read a lot about animal cruelty but seldom do we come across information about Bees. I've taken this off the PETA site....
"Whether we are stealing honey, royal jelly, pollen, propolis, or wax from bees, these incredible little insects-capable of complicated communication documented in their dances and of a social network compared to which our most carefully designed modern communities pale, suffer and die quite needlessly.
First, smoke is blown into the bees’ hives to make the bees easier to deal with. Next, a “bee brush” is used to crudely sweep away the bees who rush from the hive and succumb to the smoke. In sweeping them aside, the wire tines break off their legs and wings. Bee farmers then remove the honey and the honeycomb, which is, of course, the hive’s main source of nourishment, and replace it with cheap white sugar. Animal wax used in candles (and certain other products, including some polishes, crayons and lip balms) comes from the honeycomb."
The rest of this article can be found on the PETA site.

About Me

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Life-long Vegetarian and proud to be Canadian. Really, I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint (I do not feel ashamed) I'm your hell, I'm your dream (I'm nothing in between) You know, I wouldn't want it any other way..... (I'd like to think that song was written about me! lol)