Sunday, February 21, 2010

Pure Sunshine

Granma & the Boys

This was my Aunt's Facebook status update today..... isn't she lovely? This also made my day! (in addition to spending the time with them!)

"Emily great day with family, and it really perked my mum up she needed us like we need the sunshine, and Jenn you are pure sunshine you make my day!!!!!!"

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Angel Moms

I received an email today from a lady in a group I'm a part of who has miscarried or lost a child. Her signature line said this... "Til we hold them in our arms again, we will hold them in our hearts" and I thought it was too beautiful not to share.

Monday, February 15, 2010

You Want It All But You Can't Have It

Epic-Faith No More
Can you feel it, see it, hear it today?
If you can't, then it doesn't matter anyway
You will never understand it 'cause it happens too fast
And it feels so good, it's like walking on glass
It's so cool, it's so hip, it's alright
It's so groovy, it's outta sight
You can touch it, smell it, taste it so sweet
But it makes no difference 'cause it knocks you off your feet
You want it all but you can't have it
It's cryin', bleedin', lying on the floor
So you lay down on it and you do it some more
You've got to share it, so you dare it
Then you bare it and you tear it
You want it all but you can't have it
It's in your face but you can't grab it
It's alive, afraid, a lie, a sin
It's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss, it's a win
It's dark, it's moist, it's a bitter pain
It's sad it happened and it's a shame
You want it all but you can't have it
It's in your face but you can't grab it
What is it?
It's it
What is it?...
This song has such meaning to me even though it's such an odd song. Over the years, I've heard people say Mike Patton has said it's about masturbation.... I've also heard he says it should be up to your own interpretation of what it means to you. The song has always brought back memories. My best childhood friend had a brother Scott who was like a brother to me. He was in a band called Gleet and they covered this song whenever they played at places such as Manhattan Rocks. On New Years Day 1994, he was in a car accident and was the only one in the vehicle who didn't survive. Everytime I hear this song I think of him. And not because of the words, but because he sang it.
I have my own interpretation of this song and it's nothing to do with masturbation or drugs or losing ones virginity which are other interpretations I've heard about. The words are so literal to me now.... and I know why I never really "got" them before.
I don't want to want what I haven't got... I already have it all.

My Fish Shaped Tofu

My husband is NOT vegetarian but every once in awhile he is open to trying something new. Recently we discovered a vegetarian restaurant nearby that we both really like. My kids have been begging to go back again. It's one of the few places we go to where they can order anything on the menu without asking questions about what is in it. Awesome.

I had the prettiest dinner at Affinity this weekend. The tofu fish was amazing, but I'm not sure how necessary it was to actually have the fish be fish shaped...

Protesting at the Vancouver Winter Olympics

The residents of Vancouver who are protesting the Winter Olympics have valid points in my opinion. I've been reading articles about the Fraser Valley which is where many homeless people have been taken, to create a facade in the city for when the tourists arrived. The homeless would be an embarrassment apparently.

They think that by moving these people out and giving them a tent to live under, that they've done them a favour. Parts of the Fraser Valley is known to be highly toxic and unsafe.

They are also making their voices heard on the corporate takeover that Vanoc has allowed to happen. These "sponsors" are getting all the glory for funding and making these games happen, but in reality it's the residents who are out of pocket and impacted financially the most.

The protesters want to remind the people of the world that these Olympics are taking place on stolen land. The city has gone into debt in order to host these games which the taxpayers will be responsible for, yet they don't have proper social programs in place for their own people in need. This website tells it all, so I won't go on and on about it. I just keep seeing my friends Facebook status updates saying nasty things about these protesters. If they read a little more into it all, they might understand why they are even there. I know I have.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

“...There is no vocabulary for love... love that's lived in but not looked at,
love within the light of which all else is seen, the love within which all
other love finds speech. This love is silent.” — T.S. Eliot

One of those Mommy emails I got from a friend that warms your heart..

Before I was a Mom ,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom ,

I had never been puked on..
Pooped on.
Chewed on..
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom ,

I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom ,

I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom

Before I was a Mom ,

I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom ,

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom ..
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

"Those that go searching for love only make manifest their own lovelessness, and the loveless never find love, only the loving find love, and they never have to seek for it." --D.H. Lawrence

Sunday, February 7, 2010

We Are All Connected

So, I saw the movie Avatar and now understand what all the hype is about. It was a great movie with inspiring messages in it. I love the respect shown in the moments where the Na'Vi people connect to the beings they've killed, I love when they "see" each other and I also love the whole motion of bonding. It's a bit different to how I've always viewed relationships but similar in some ways as well.

Here is my opinion on how it all works. I did not read this in any one book, I did not learn it from any one person and am not saying this is reality but I believe it to be true from my experiences. I feel we are all connected. We share the energy of the Universe and the goal is to keep your energy at a level where you are content but to not be greedy about it. The secret is can get dangerous if you're feeling too low in energy. You might use sarcasm towards someone else or say something mean to make them feel small and weak. This drains their energy and as it leaves them, you can feed off it in your time of weakness. This will fill you up but only until the next person comes along and does the same thing to you.... it becomes a vicious cycle if you're not careful.

If you are usually a balanced person, you will be full of energy and be a more positive person all round. A balanced person can freely give away their energy because there is always a constant flow of good energy coming their way from others in their life who willingly feed it to them. It's a positive flow, a positive circle of energy. Sometimes we cross paths with people who we have a stronger connection with than others. These people can be our complete opposites but can still be our strongest source of energy. We fill voids within each other and learn from each other.

I am many things to many people with whom I connect with on a daily basis. I am a Wife and I'm a Mother which includes being a Cook, a Housekeeper, a Family Accountant, a Parent Volunteer, a Teacher/Tutor, a Taxi Driver, a Personal Secretary who organizes all the appointments and sport activities, a Travel Agent, a Storyteller, a Playmate, a Personal Shopper, a Singer/DJ, an Entertainer, a Photographer, Santa Claus and more.

To other parents, I'm a Caregiver for their children. These people trust me entirely to teach, love, respect and care for what is most precious to them in this world. This takes a lot of energy but I'm fortunate to be rewarded with children who fill me back up with their smiles and their love.

I'm also a Friend to many people, a Confidant (I've been trusted to keep secrets!) a Mentor to some (maybe!) and that girl most people can rely on.

I'm also an Aunt, a Daughter, a Step-Daughter, a Sister, a Step-Sister, a Cousin, a Grand-Daughter, a Daughter-In-Law, a Sister-In-Law, a Niece, an Employee/Co-Worker etc etc etc.

I am also, when you strip away all my titles, still Me underneath it all. I have chosen the roles I play and I've been careful to not take on more than I can handle. I love my life and I love who I am to all the people I have connections with. I'm very aware of the amount of energy I need in order to fulfill all my obligations. Once in awhile, we encounter someone who we connect with, create a bond with but find they don't take up a lot of our energy at all. There is such a flow of positive energy between you that neither of you feel empty or robbed at the end of the conversation. The energy is transferred back and forth. Neither of you have any more or less energy than what you brought with you to begin with, but it's been shared. It becomes different energy. It's exchanged energy which can leave you feeling rejuvinated and refreshed. Some of these people may even make your soul smile. These friendships/relationships/connections are vital in maintaining who you really are. And before you can be "someone" to anyone else, you must first be you to yourself. Make sense? Hmmm.... maybe not to everyone, but it works for me.

Anyways.... I got off on a bit of a tangent here.... that was a bit heavy. The mini version is that I LOVED the movie Avatar ;-)

Donn Zver Pottery

I discovered Donn Zver before I ever even moved out of my Mom's house and have been buying pieces there ever since. It's the only thing I really "collect" and I use it everyday. His pottery makes my coffee taste better, my table look prettier and makes me happy just to look at.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

“In the end nothing we do
or say in this lifetime will
matter as much as the way
we have loved one another."
— Daphne Rose Kingma

“Often we don't listen to
who we're meant to be
because we're so busy
trying to live out someone
else's ideas. But other
people and their opinions
hold no power in defining
our destiny.”

About Me

My photo
Life-long Vegetarian and proud to be Canadian. Really, I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint (I do not feel ashamed) I'm your hell, I'm your dream (I'm nothing in between) You know, I wouldn't want it any other way..... (I'd like to think that song was written about me! lol)