Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Your Toddler Is 36 Months Old

Heinz, Gerber, Similac, Enfalac.... all of these baby food/formula companies obtain your name it seems almost immediately following conception. For all five of my pregnancies, my doctor provided me with armfuls of information on what to expect during the next nine months and this literature is all courtesy of these baby food makers. The amount of information is overwhelming, really.
This week I received yet another brochure in the mail from one of these companies with coupons attached for various other products they make. On it read "Your toddler is 36 months...."
Nope, no. My toddler is not 36 months because my baby didn't live long enough to become a toddler. I miscarried twelve weeks into that pregnancy; that fetus didn't even make it to full term. I froze as I read it standing in front of our neighbourhood mailbox. Those words literally took the breath out of me as I realized that next week sometime, around September 4th, I would have had a three year old, ....had that baby survived.
I've called these companies to ask them to stop mailing me free samples and coupons, I've blocked them all from my email and have done what I can to avoid exactly what just happened at my mailbox.... But the reality is, every once in awhile I need to think about him/her. I need to have those thoughts about those babies run through my head so I can feel them in my heart.  I've had a connection with each of my children from the moment I felt they were there and I do wonder about the three that never came to be. They are still and will always be a part of me.
I just really don't need Heinz to flag all the milestones I'm missing out on.

About Me

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Life-long Vegetarian and proud to be Canadian. Really, I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint (I do not feel ashamed) I'm your hell, I'm your dream (I'm nothing in between) You know, I wouldn't want it any other way..... (I'd like to think that song was written about me! lol)