The $155 Ontario Money Grab

The majority of us have our lives stored on our cell phones. Our music, our email, our contacts, our photos, grocery lists, access to the internet.. everything we need is at our fingertips. We are so connected by technology these days that it has become to norm to communicate and conduct much of our days happenings electronically. For me personally its marvelous. The convenience of using SMS is probably my most favourite part having a cell phone, but never while I'm driving. The stories we've heard about texting and driving are horrific. Studies show that texting is more dangerous than drunk driving and while driving intoxicated is not at all acceptable either it is eye opening to read some of the comparison reports. Car And Driver conducted a study on the subject; the results can be found here. So we know this (or should know this) which makes hands free calling the lesser of the two evils when we need to communicate. It's legal and less of a distraction than many of the other reasons why we shift our eyes from the road here and there. We drink our coffee on our commute, change radio stations, adjust the heat and a/c, glance at our GPS screen while following the directions, look at the clock ..we've all done it. We've all taken our eyes or one hand away from the wheel for a split second to do all of these things ..but does it make us irresponsible drivers?? We're not drunk. We're not texting. We don't get penalized for it.

A friend of mine, a law abiding citizen who works in a field where safety and security are of the utmost importance got a $155 ticket for using a handheld device while driving. She was on the 400 near Vaughan last Thursday after work and had to take a call on her Hands Free Headset. To hang up the call she lifted her iPhone from the cup holder, glanced down to press 'END' and placed it back in the cup holder. Upon being issued the ticket she showed the officer her ear piece, explained she had been using her device hands free and that this ticket was not justified. His response was simply 'fight it in court'.. She asked what the alternative to doing what she did was and he told her she should have 'pulled over to the shoulder to end the call' ..!

So.. let's look at this, Ontario. That officer told her the lawful way to end her handsfree conversation would have been to weave across three lanes of highway traffic on the 400, during bumper to bumper rush hour chaos, to pull onto the shoulder where she risks not only her life but everyone around her as well, to hit 'END' on her iPhone. This Ontario Provincial Police Officer coached her to do that! And expects her to do that from now on to avoid getting a ticket. His advice is to put herself and everyone on the road around her in more danger than what it would take to simply push the end call button on her phone ..does that make any sense at all??! Through the process of her spreading the word to friends and family to protect them from also being slapped with a hefty fine, conversations are being generated about the fact that this law has become a huge money grab for police.

I've heard too many stories now where it seems to be just that. Another friend of mine was at a drive through window, waiting for his order, car completely stopped, and picked up his phone to respond to a text he had ignored on the road for the purpose of safety and the law. A cop who was dining in his cruiser in that same parking lot witnessed his actions. As my friend pulled away from the window, phone set down already, the cop gave him a ticket. Money grab. Someone else I know was at a red light. A reminder alert came up on her phone that was in her cup holder. She lifted it to hit snooze, put it down and got a ticket. Money grab. A coworker of mine was also at a red light when he got his $155 ding by lifting his phone out of the holder to skip the song that was playing. No different than changing the song on our car's CD player. Money grab. These people clearly were not texting while driving. They were not making a call without using a hands free set. And they were not emailing. They weren't doing anything differently than what we do everyday in our vehicles and have been doing for decades. I understand the importance of enforcing a law that prevents people from texting or emailing while driving. It's been put in place as a result of a series of sad and unfortunate events worldwide. That law is necessary. However it's too grey and some officers might be taking it too far. Is it a money grab? So they can hit quotas quickly and be recognized among their colleagues? They do it too. One of our dear friends is a police officer; I've peeked inside the window of her cruiser before. They have all kinds of little buttons, computers, radios and distractions in those cars; more than the average vehicle. They are just as guilty as anyone else for taking a hand off the wheel here and there. In fact I've witnessed an officer with her iPhone at her ear while travelling down the QEW ..and if I'd have had a passenger with me I would have pulled mine out and snapped a photo as we passed by!! Where's her penalty? Or in this province do we just turn a blind eye when it's a law enforcer breaking the law? ..oh wait, thats a whole other topic. Let's not go there.

So Ontario drivers, going forward be sure to do as they say and not as they do. Be sure to weave across the busy lanes of rush hour traffic to end your hands free call just as the Ontario Provincial Police Officer advised my friend she should have done. Do not change the music in your car, even at a red light unless you are listening to a CD, a tape, an 8 track, satellite or the regular radio stations. Those are all ok and you will not be fined for doing so. But if your music is stored on your iPhone then you'll feel the sting of a ticket. Also, if your phone alarm is going off, you must listen to the noise until you can pull over however unsafe that may be to do to make it stop. Unless of course you can't pull over. Then  you may lose your mind from the distracting alarm sounding through your brain over and over and over again, causing road rage, which then causes an accident because you're so pissed off you just want to ram into the guy driving beside you to try to get him out of the way so you can get over to the side of the road and stop that irritating noise. Because a quick push of one button on your handheld device is against the law in our province. A little exaggerated I know, however if you do find yourself in a similar situation as those mentioned above, in all seriousness you'd better NOT (seriously, do NOT!) press that one button ..or you'll be out a hefty hundred and fifty bucks ;) Drive safe everyone!

Eating Right For Your Blood Type -Vegan and Vegetarian

I've been hearing about this book Eat Right For Your Blood Type for a few years now and some fellow coworkers are really in to the advice it feeds. I'm Type O; apparently the oldest of all blood lines which puts me in the 'Natural Born Hunter' category.. obviously not fitting for my Vegetarian lifestyle! It claims I should eat high amounts of protein by consuming lean meats. This will never happen so I did some reading and came across this article written by Michael Klaper, MD arguing D'Adamo's theories. It's worth the read! The Toronto Vegetarian Association also has it posted on their site.  http://www.earthsave.org/health/bloodtyp.htm

The Mother We Share

This song speaks volumes.

Natalie Merchant & 10,000 Maniacs -These Are The Days..

The Goodness Of An All Crust Sandwich

My boys take lunches to school big enough to fill grown men. Sometimes they come home with a few things left over, sometimes they give things away ..and sometimes they just eat it all. This morning, I told the kids to start getting their lunches together and that I'll be downstairs soon to help them pack it up when they are done. When I did my mommy inspection (they know there are certain musts like minimum two fresh fruits before I give their lunch the ok!) I was surprised to find what I did. In Carter's bag I saw an all crust sandwich. A sandwich made with the two end slices of the bread. This was a new loaf meaning he had to dig his way through my bread to get the other end slice. I picked the sad looking sandwich up to see it was simply jam inside. My kids don't take jam sandwiches. They have a thermos so they can take a hot lunch but if they did want a sandwich there are all kinds of cheeses in the fridge, Tofurky slices, lettuce, tomatoes ..he could even have made himself just a bagel with cream cheese. I called him into the kitchen and asked him about it. He told me very confidently 'it's just what I want for today' however my youngest interrupted and said 'It's because of his friend!' I immediately jumped on Carter about the dangers of doing things just because another kid tells you too. I began to lecture him, telling him I'm trying to raise him in such a way that he doesn't participate in that sort of drama ..but I could see him welling up. I had to stop when I saw the tears rolling down his face as he shook his head back and forth. And this is what he told me:

"No, Mom, it's because my friend Jordan brings an all crust sandwich to school ..a lot. And this boy Dawson makes fun of him every time he does. And yesterday, this mean boy Dawson told Jordan that he's just like the two end slices of bread on his sandwich; the part that no one likes"

My heart sank. I knew where he was going with this. 

"I can tell it makes Jordan feel embarrassed. So today I'm taking an all crust sandwich so he doesn't feel bad and Dawson will see that someone does like Jordan. And that it's not a big deal to have that kind of sandwich. It's not to be a follower or make fun of him. It's to make Jordan feel better!"

At this point I'm welling up with guilt, pride and love. I hugged him, told him I couldn't be any more proud of him and of course I apologized for misunderstanding the situation. I'm wowed that he came up with this tactic on his own and that it's a bright solution to old school lunch room teasing.

I called the school and explained that Carter would be crushed if he knew I was calling but I wanted the lunch teacher to be aware and eavesdrop on that conversation when it goes down; just in case it gets heated. I'm the mommy. And as proud as I am of my boy, I still have a need to protect my little protector as he quietly fulfills his peer lessons of acceptance and empathy ;) 

Veggielicious 2013

If you've never taken part before, it's only fair to share with my fellow veg-heads this little thing called Veggielicious, powered by The Toronto Vegetarian Association. It's a two week celebration of compassionate cuisine where a number of local vegetarian restaurants participate; thirty locations were featured in the 2012 event. Veggielicious is almost here, meaning the opportunity to try some amazing Vegan eats in and around the GTA. Check out the site http://www.veggielicious.ca/ to find out which restaurants will be offering prix-fixe meals and other great deals then set yourself up for a few Date Nights between November 15th and November 30th 2013 to give a few of them a try.

ps Kelly & Erinn of Kindfood in Burlington will be featuring their Happy Buddha Bowl and Green Smoothie for $15, Dine In or Take Out!

Amazing Grace -Sinead O'Connor

For the most part I visit Declan's site in good spirit. It's not a place I always associate with sadness; it's somewhere I go to for comfort, re-energizing and to maintain balance within my being. This morning at the cemetery I watched a couple walk around the grounds with the graveyard administrative person, selecting a plot. The man from the office had his clipboard and his map in hand and pointed to certain locations; the same way he did when he walked us around to choose Declan's place of rest. It's the first time I've seen that man since that day and the sight of him reminded me of what strength it took for us to do that. The conversations about the planning came flooding back, the sadness that surrounded us at that time and the fear of what was to come hit me all over again when I saw that man and his map. And those memories began to weaken me today.
But something distracted me from the upset, something intriguing. I swear, in the far distance I could hear the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace, just as we had the piper play at the finale of Declan's funeral. The song seemed to fade in and out but it was playing and I don't think it was just in my head. There must have been someone in one of the nearby fields practising. Regardless, it had a stilling effect and made it's presence at the most opportune time, reminding me to stay focussed on what I've learned through all of this. Everything happens for a reason. There are no coincidences in life. But there are messages within all of these encounters for us to recognize, accept and act upon. I left with a sense of balance in my spirit once again. I believe Amazing Grace was a message today and the sweet sound saved a wretch like me..


Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

International Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day -October 15th

I've posted this video before and shed some light in a post on why stars are so significant to me in relation to the loss of my babies. Today, October 15th is International Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day and although I don't need a specific day to acknowledge what I think about daily, it's an odd sort of comfort to know I'm not the only one in the world who feels how I do about missing our angel babies.

A lot had happened in the months since Declan was due. Two of my closest friends have had babies and one more is soon too. The babies are precious and I feel a love for them as I did with all the other babies we've had born into the group. The lump in my throat that I have when I'm around these girls is nothing to do with them as such but as a result of the situation. Seeing their babies so close in age and hearing them talk about what they've ordered on Etsy to decorate the nurseries is literally heart wrenching to listen to. The back and forth stories about how easy their births were makes me want to scream a reminder that only months ago, after a fifteen hour night of labour my son was born with a still heart. And although I had been told to expect that, I never once in all those hours gave up hope that I'd hear him cry at the end of it all. But he didn't cry. And talking about labour brings all those memories to the surface. It's really all too raw to be faking it like this but it's also too wrong to ask them to refrain from topics in which their whole life is absorbed in at the moment. The same emotions could possibly be felt by the one who lost her mom years ago when we speak of our mothers. Same could be said for the one who lost her brother when we talk about our siblings among the group. These woman are my lifelong friends and I love them dearly. They supported me when I was at my weakest and I need to let them bask in the glory they deserve now.

I think having this day as an international awareness has allowed me to be ok with still not being ok. Instead of cleaning my house or running the errands I originally had planned today, I gave in to the draw of a visit to the cemetery and spent it laying in the leaves by the grave stone thinking about what would have been. I will do what you're supposed to do to take part in sharing in our losses. I will watch for the CN Tower and Niagara Falls to light up in Pink and Blue in honour of all angel babies. I'll take part in the Global Wave of Light by lighting a candle at 7pm this evening alongside fellow grieving parents of the world. But I can't imagine having spent this Autumn afternoon doing anything more therapeutic than being there alone with my four little Stars.

My 'Winged It' Vegetarian Chick'n Pot Pie Recipe!

I searched the internet for the best Pot Pie recipe and couldn't find one that appealed to me so I used what I like out of a few variations and came up with this. These went over really well and took very little effort as I made them over the course of a few days. One night with dinner we had Green Beans & Mushrooms, the next night we had Broccoli, Cauliflower, Carrots and Potatoes. I made a bit extra each night so that on the third day all I had to do was make the sauce, cook the Vegan Chick'n, roll the dough and bake. This is a completely made up, not measured to scale, roughly estimated recipe. I added as I went and they turned out amazing! My apologies in advance for the way this recipe is laid out! It really would take a lot to mess it up. The flavour is all in the sauce which can easily be altered if it doesn't seem right at first. Just be sure to adjust before pouring on the veggies. These freeze really well at the stage where you add the sauce. Save adding the crust for the day you're having them for dinner. I found that one package of pie crusts (2 pies) covered eight single serve pie plates even though I had veggies and sauce portioned into twelve. I froze the remaining four for another time, leaving them crustless for now. Puff pastry is another way to top these pies if you prefer. 

5 cups cooked mixed vegetables

1/2 onion

1 clove garlic

1 pkg Gardein Vegan Chick'n Strips, cubed

1/4 cup White Wine

1/4 cup + 2tbsp butter

1 cup heavy cream

2 cups milk

Approx 3 cups Vegetable stock

1 Vegetable Chicken-Style bouillon cube

1/2 cup flour + more for dusting and to adjust thickening if necessary

1 pinch nutmeg

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

1 pkg ready made frozen vegetarian pie crusts, thawed

Saute the onion and garlic in 2 tbsp butter. Stir in the Vegan Chick'n, wine and 1/2 cup of stock. Cook on medium heat 3-5 minutes until the liquid is absorbed. 

Melt the remaining butter in a medium sized sauce pan, mix in some of the flour, a little at a time stirring constantly. Slowly add in some of the stock and whisk. Continue to alternate flour and stock until it begins to thicken. Add in heavy cream slowly, continuing to stir. Add in the milk, continue to stir. Add in nutmeg and black pepper. Crumble the vegetable bouillon in, still whisking. Taste. If it's too salty do not add the salt. Depending on the consistency, add more stock to thin or more flour to thicken. The pot should be simmering slowly and should be at least 3/4 full by this point. If you need to top it up, continue alternating stock or cream with flour until you reach the desired amount. You'll need to gauge having enough sauce to cover the cooked veggies. The sauce is the most important part of this recipe. Taste and season with additional salt and pepper if necessary. 

Portion the mixed veggies into single serving pie plates. I had enough filling for twelve. Top with cubed Vegan Chick'n and pour sauce over. Mix to coat veggies evenly. 

Roll pre-made pie crusts out onto a cutting board, sprinkle with a little splash of water if necessary and dust with flour. Roll flat and thin. Cut circles out big enough to cover the pie plates. Prick with a fork to allow the steam to vent. Bake at 375 degrees for 35 minutes or until crusts are a nice golden colour. 

Black Keys Covering The Weight by The Band