What A Grieving Mother Really Thinks ~Kelly Cummings

Hello, Old Friend,

Oh, yes, you know

I lost my child a while ago.

No, no please

Don’t look away

And change the subject

It’s ok.

You see, at first I couldn’t feel,

It took so long, but now it’s real.

I hurt so much inside you see

I need to talk,

Come sit with me? 

You see, I was numb for so very long,

And people said, “My, she is so strong.”

They did not know I couldn’t feel,

My broken heart made all unreal.

But then one day, as I awoke

I clutched my chest, began to choke,

Such a scream, such a wail, 

Broke from me…

My child! My child!

The horror of reality.

But everyone has moved on, you see,

everyone except for me.

Now, when I need friends most of all,

Between us there now stands a wall.

My pain is more than they can bear,

When I mention my child,

I see their blank stare.

“But I thought you were over it,”

Their eyes seem to say,

No, no, I can’t listen to this, not today.

So I smile and pretend, and say, “Oh, I’m ok”.

But inside I am crying, as I turn away.

And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,

As I have from the start,

You never knowing all the while,

All I’ve just said to you in my heart.

~Kelly Cummings

You Never Know How Strong You Are..

My girlfriend Bridge (my 'bridge' who helps me across many obstacles in my life!) sent me this :)

Peace In The Mind And The Heart

“The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Live

"You're worried about how you’re going to feel at the end of your life? What about right now? Live. Right in this minute. That's where the joy's at."
— Abigail Thomas

Imagine Lyrics

Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try
No hell below us, above it's only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for and no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing for the world

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one




- Posted from Jennifer's iPhone

You Are A Soul

“You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”
― C.S. Lewis



- Posted from Jennifer's iPhone

UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

Brittany Renee

“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting
not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I'd just
been myself.”-Brittany Renée


- Posted using BlogPress from Jennifer's iPad

Our lives begin to end....

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" ~Rev Martin Luther King Jr

Our Destiny Changes....

“Our destiny changes with our thoughts; we shall become what we wish to become, do what we wish to do, when our habitual thoughts correspond with our desires.”
— Orison Swett Marden


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Bertrand Russell Says....

“Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of happy mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give.”
—  Bertrand Russell

Farewell But Not Goodbye, Oprah!

Four thousand, five hundred and sixty-one episodes of Oprah aired over the years. Some may say "good riddance" but I have a deep appreciation for what Oprah  has brought to this world. I watched her on TV with my Mum and my Gran when I was a child and have always been inspired by her. She has been a force in so many of our lives. I feel like I understand her messages. We are all connected in a spiritual and divine energy and in order to appreciate this, you would have to be on that wavelength, tuned in, in sync, connected....however you want to envision it! Wisdom emanates from the heart while knowledge comes from the mind and Oprah possesses both. Every true Oprah fan would have seen the Farewell show by now. I was a mess watching it, and I watched it alone, late at night the way I wanted it to be. Just me, Oprah and a glass of white. The episode summed up the entirety of what she has been doing all these years..... her main lesson 'you are responsible for the energy you bring to yourself and to others as well as to every space you enter.'  What we do with our energy matters. What you put out in the world, returns to you.

About a month ago a long time friendship I had with a girlfriend was severed and I feel like I was broken up with. She'll never read this blog but to be fair I'll change her name.... for the this purpose I'll refer to her as 'Lisa' and if she does read this blog she'll know why I chose 'Lisa'! I knew in the weeks leading up to the night it happened that her energy was different. I tried to over compensate with energy I was pulling from other sources like my family and other friends but I could feel her deflecting it. Instead of validating the people in my circle, I stole from them to give to her. She wasn't open to receiving it and I was draining myself trying to connect to her. It was wasted energy. I even asked other friends to do what they could to open her up, ....I was desperate to save something that I couldn't reach. Our connection disappeared before I knew it. This was very new for me. Not often, but I've felt similar before in a few other relationships in my life. I eventually get to a point where I'm so drained from trying that I pull my energy back and give up....and when I do I often feel a sense of peace and calm, and grateful to myself for identifying that I needed to do that for my soul. When I begin to accept certain people are fading out of my life I'm ok because of that process. When I come to realize how much energy I put into keeping it together I have to re-think where I can spend that energy elsewhere and do good with it instead. And things usually come full circle for me when I do that.  As if there was a reason for needing to re-direct it. This friendship with 'Lisa' was different. I never pulled back. I was shut out instead. We spent sixteen years being friends and there was a lot of great energy swapped throughout that time.  She chose to re-direct her focus on a man who knows this energy concept, even if he doesn't realize he knows it, and has used it to pull her in. I'm sick about it. I miss her. When a picture of her pops up on my computer, I cry, and I don't want to but I do. When I drive past the restaurant we 'broke up' in I cry, and I can't make myself not cry. It happens to my heart before I can tell my head to just stop thinking about her.
I've been sad and drained about this for weeks but when I watched Oprah's Farewell show the other day, she reminded me I should be taking responsibility for how I'm spending that energy. It's not my fault she wasn't open to receiving it from me anymore, it's not my fault that it doesn't seem to bother her that we don't know what is going on in each others lives and it's not my fault that she can't balance her energies enough to make it all work. But it is my fault for holding onto the excess energy she deflected and not re-directing it. It's too much to hold onto and has been weighing me down.  It's full of anxiousness and desperateness right now, so I'll give it a detox then give it away to someone or something in this universe where it'll have a positive impact. It's what is right.
I'm going to miss watching the weeks worth of my PVR'd Oprah shows on the weekends, but her wisdom, knowledge that she's shared, vibes she's sent, empowerment, inspiration and more than I can even describe with words will stay with me forever and will always be felt in my heart.
Farewell, but not Goodbye, Oprah! xo

Not always, but every once in awhile, I'm grateful to receive these types of emails because they actually make me think:                            


                            To realize
                            The value of a sister/brother
                            Ask someone
                            Who doesn't have one.

                            To realize
                            The value of ten years:
                            Ask a newly
                            Divorced couple.

                            To realize
                            The value of four years:
                            Ask a graduate.

                            To realize
                            The value of one year:
                            Ask a student who
                            Has failed a final exam.

                            To realize
                            The value of nine months:
                            Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

                            To realize
                            The value of one month:
                            Ask a mother
                            Who has given birth to
                            A premature baby.

                            To realize
                            The value of one week:
                            Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

                            To realize
                            The value of one minute:
                            Ask a person
                            Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

                            To realize
                            The value of one second:
                            Ask a person
                            Who has survived an accident.

                            Time waits for no one.

                            Treasure every moment you have.

Nonsense Wakes Up The Brain Cells

"Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age. Humor has a tremendous place in this sordid world. It's more than just a matter of laughing. If you can see things out of whack, then you can see how things can be in whack." ~ Dr. Suess
As quoted in "Author Isn't Just a Cat in the Hat" by Miles Corwin in The Los Angeles Times (27 November 1983); also in Dr. Seuss: American Icon (2004) by Philip Nel, p. 38 Wikiquote

I Don't Give A Damn About My Bad Reputation

Although I'm not a strong leader, I'd like to think I've never been much of a follower. My girlfriends to this day expect me to make the plans and organize our events for our group. It's just always been that way. I am the decision maker for most things in my life. I'm a mom and a wife and I tend to play a leading role in the planning of our day to day lives. With so many decisions to have to make, I've learned to be quick about it and I've stopped over thinking a lot of things. Sometimes in retrospect I see that I could have made a better choice had I given it more thought but in that particular moment if I felt (and I base most of my decisions of emotion... I know this about myself) it was the right thing to do, then I'm ok with that and will stand behind why I did what I did. It's just the way it is. And people get pissed off with some of the things I say and do. They judge when I do things like take my children to animal rights demonstrations  or raise them differently than they are used to but as long as I can be honest with myself and feel good about what I say and do, then I don't give a damn about my bad reputation. ; )

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future"-Paul Boese

This, I believe.....

“We are spiritual beings having a human experience."-Oprah

Gandhi

"There are many causes that I am prepared to die for but no causes that I am prepared to kill for."-Gandhi
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."-Gandhi

When I Say I Love You...

"When I say, 'I love you,' it's not because I want you or because I can't
have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you
do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen
the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity
exactly what you are.” Spike to Buffy by Joss Whedon

Marilyn Monroe

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
- Marilyn Monroe