Teach Your Children

Remember this one?! Love it. Such harmony among their voices; lifts up my spirit every time I hear it :)

....with a little help from my friends

I've titled a post not too long ago using the words of John Lennon, "I get by with a little help from my friends". Shortly after writing up my last post today I received this text from a friend and it gave me the lift I needed to get through my chaotic day. Every word in every sentence is glowing with care and I can't express how I appreciate them in words that could possibly top the words in this message. So instead I'm posting it and although there's no identity attached, this beautiful person who sent me these words knows who they are. And will see this as they read my blog everyday ;) Thanks friend for helping me get by today!

Dear Diary:

So, I've posted less and less it seems in recent months. I feel like a little bit of my passion was crushed for awhile after I had asked a friend if he'd ever read this blog. He admitted he had, and asked if it was "a blog or a diary"... As embarrassed as I was of his opinion I looked back at some of my posts only to realize that my style is sorta that. An honest layout of my thoughts shared online. To the world. And when someone such as myself does this, I expose myself in a way that paves way for critics, opposing views and even mocking. I had started a few posts since then but left them in draft form because they fell into that 'diary' kind of category which I was trying to steer away from. If he, a friend thinks that of my blog, what must others think?? So I stopped posting for awhile. At least posts that involved my inner thoughts and feelings.

Then this morning happened. I was upstairs getting ready and could hear my kids talking downstairs. My older son told the younger son to not tell anyone where they got their new bow & arrows from (the Dollar Store) because their friends will make fun of them and say they are stupid and the toys are fake.. My younger son responded by saying if his friend Ryan asks him and he doesn't tell him, he won't be friends with him anymore. ....I had to intervene. I gave them a talking to about not being ashamed of their things, their thoughts, their interests and being judged. We went over the implications of threatening and feeling threatened by friendships and how to handle those situations. And as I spoke those words it occurred to me that I don't always practice what I preach..

And thats how this post came to be! This friend of mine, who I love and respect made a comment that I didn't know how to react to. And so I stopped doing what I do, stopped doing what interests me, and that isn't right. I know he won't be the only one in the world who comes across this blog and mocks it; it's one of the reasons I don't allow comments on it! But from the odd email I get here and there or Twitter DM from the people who do connect with what I say, I say it's worth putting myself out there. I overthink most things and this blog offers me an outlet to get some of those thoughts out of my head and clear up some space in my mind. It's not a diary. It's a tool; for myself and for anyone else who can relate to what I think and say on certain matters. I'm not ashamed (although I thought I was for awhile) of this blog. I'm grateful for what it offers me. It's a part of who I am and I realize what I choose to expose will be judged both in positive and negative forms. I learned a little something in the lesson I gave to my kids this morning, ..and it turns out I can handle the feedback after all ;)

Angel ~Sarah McLachlan

Sometimes we need an angel in our life. These are some of my most favourite Sarah lyrics and although this song has been interpreted in so many ways; drug addiction, suicide etc I read it as simply as a journey of hope in freeing your mind. However you interpret this song, enjoy it even if just for the melody; it's beautiful.

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance,
For a break that would make it okay.

There's always some reason
To feel not good enough,
And it's hard, at the end of the day.

I need some distraction,
Oh, beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins.

Let me be empty,
Oh, and weightless,
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight.

In the arms of the angel,
Fly away from here,
From this dark, cold hotel room,
And the endlessness that you fear.
You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your silent reverie.
You're in the arms of the angel,
May you find some comfort here.

So tired of the straight line,
And everywhere you turn,
There's vultures and thieves at your back.

The storm keeps on twisting.
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack.

It don't make no difference,
Escape one last time.
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,
Oh, this glorious sadness,
That brings me to my knees.

You're in the arms of the angel,
May you find some comfort here.

Thankful For Me

Each year around this time I write up a quick post for all the things I am Thankful for in my life even though almost everything I write which revolves around my family or friends is written with my heart bursting with love and gratitude for them. All of that still stands true however..
I've come to some realizations lately and see myself differently these days. I've given myself a harsh evaluation and have decided to rid my heart and my head of the chaos that lives within. I think sometimes I over care about people and take on responsibilities that no one ever expected me to in the first place. Sometimes I blame the Mommy in me for my over helpfulness but really I've always been this annoying. And its draining. Not just to me but to the people around me I'm sure. So, I'm letting go. Letting go of the chaos so I have more space in my head and my heart to enjoy the love that does come full circle for me, the good energies that are sent my way that I often acknowledge but don't fully absorb because there is too much going on. I plan to care less about the people and things who don't make that much of an impact on my life and it's not a negative process. It's just the opposite really. I'm thankful that I have the wisdom and intuition to recognize when my life is unbalanced and I'm thankful for the strength I have within to be able to make it change. Without conceited intent I'm thankful for me and I know so many others in my life are as well, making me thankful for them; ..and see? That is how the love comes full circle. And soon I'll have the space to absorb it all.

Play Is The Work Of Childhood

In college we learned about the various way children learn and there were philosophies and research to support each one but I've always believed children learning through play to be the most natural.

Peace In The Mind And The Heart

“The resting place of the mind is the heart. The only thing the mind hears all day is clanging bells and noise and argument, and all it wants is quietude. The only place the mind will ever find peace is inside the silence of the heart. That's where you need to go.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Karma And Love

“When the karma of a relationship is done, only love remains. It's safe. Let go.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

Ewww Ladies, Don't Let Yourselves Get There..

“I was suffering the easily foreseeable consequences. Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never dared to admit you wanted-an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with a hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is witheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy, and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore-- despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbors just to have 'that thing' even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is,you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess,unrecognizable even to your own eyes. So that's it. You have now reached infatuation's final destination-- the complete and merciless devaluation of self." - pg 20-21”
― Elizabeth Gilbert

Giver

“If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert