Sunday, September 27, 2009

I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got

Everything we have, Chris and I have worked our asses off for. We have friends who were given lump-sums towards their mortgages and first homes. We worked three jobs so we could buy our first house when we were twenty-two years old. We have friends whose parents paid for their entire wedding. Chris and I took out a line of credit to make it all work. It's fair to say we have worked for what we have and I do feel a sense of pride about that. We are also good to ourselves. We're spenders. I hate to admit that I get a "kick" out of material things sometimes but once in awhile I buy or am given something so special that I feel in awe of it. In awe of a material thing.... I admit it but it doesn't sit with me very well. The truth just hurts sometimes, I guess.

We were recently put to the test of how important those material things are to us when Chris was laid off for five months. We stopped going away for weekends getaways, we ate out less often and didn't buy as much to start. As time went on, we started to have the conversation about selling the house, moving out west to where the work was and starting over. I'm all about the "less is more" attitude and keeping it simple but it caused me anxiety and stress at first thought. We talked about all the things we could do without and all the things we wouldn't need, but have now. It really puts things in perspective when you're wondering could we do this? Could we really do this and still be happy? We knew we could.... Of course we long as we have what basics we need to live, our kids, our health and have the money to spend on what allows us to do good such as having the ability to still donate to charities and to have fun with our friends and family. We've already proven to ourselves that we can make it on our own. We were happy before the bigger house and all the "things" and we were equally as happy with it all. This made us realize, we're just happy together. It really has nothing to do with the things at all.

So why then, do I find myself in awe of materialistic things on occasion? Why is it my heart still flutters a little when I catch a glimpse of a turquoise box wrapped in white ribbon with the words "Tiffany & Co" on it? I've been thinking long and hard about the answer to this and I want to say that it's because I have found balance in my life. I am content with what I have. I could give it up and live without most of it as long as I had the people most important to me around me. I can appreciate the quality of beauty in people, nature and material things.... in that order. (“Everything has its beauty…”Confucius) I can honestly say I do not want what I haven't got.

About Me

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Life-long Vegetarian and proud to be Canadian. Really, I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint (I do not feel ashamed) I'm your hell, I'm your dream (I'm nothing in between) You know, I wouldn't want it any other way..... (I'd like to think that song was written about me! lol)