I had heard his soul through the doppler in my doctors office just a few days earlier. I felt his spirit tumble inside me when he moved. I was scared about a lot of things during this pregnancy but most of all I was afraid that these energies would all end as soon as I had him. But they didn't. I felt like I was going to die of a broken heart in the weeks following his death until the foggy head started to lift a bit and I began to realize he is still a part of me; I do still feel him. When I'm drawn to visit his grave, my heart swells with energy from him. I become emotional when my broken heart emerges to soak up some love and give it the boost it needs to get me through my day. Other times I go to give out the love I need Declan to have from me. Regardless though, I always leave there with a sense of calm in my soul and warmth in my heart because of our connection.
The doctor in this video wants to understand and a lot of what she says makes sense to me. Broken Heart Syndrome is a feeling and this surgeon does a great job at trying to describe what it all means.