Thursday, August 22, 2013

Broken Heart Syndrome ..As Described By A Surgeon

I came across this video this morning which ironically was posted on December 16th, 2012 the day I learned my baby had died and had to be soon delivered. I am one of those mothers who has been handed her still hearted baby to hold as described in her story. From a grieving mom's perspective, this doctor sorta gets it.
I had heard his soul through the doppler in my doctors office just a few days earlier. I felt his spirit tumble inside me when he moved. I was scared about a lot of things during this pregnancy but most of all I was afraid that these energies would all end as soon as I had him. But they didn't. I felt like I was going to die of a broken heart in the weeks following his death until the foggy head started to lift a bit and I began to realize he is still a part of me; I do still feel him. When I'm drawn to visit his grave, my heart swells with energy from him. I become emotional when my broken heart emerges to soak up some love and give it the boost it needs to get me through my day. Other times I go to give out the love I need Declan to have from me. Regardless though, I always leave there with a sense of calm in my soul and warmth in my heart because of our connection.
The doctor in this video wants to understand and a lot of what she says makes sense to me. Broken Heart Syndrome is a feeling and this surgeon does a great job at trying to describe what it all means.

About Me

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Life-long Vegetarian and proud to be Canadian. Really, I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint (I do not feel ashamed) I'm your hell, I'm your dream (I'm nothing in between) You know, I wouldn't want it any other way..... (I'd like to think that song was written about me! lol)